I’m Officially Too Big For My Britches

So, this was Pops ill-advised attempt to put me into one of my newborn-size pants. He even told me before putting them on that he didn’t think they were going to fit, yet he kept pulling and tucking and stretching trying to get them at least up to my waist. It’s time to move on Pops–new clothes await.

Over this past weekend, the Folks finally broke out the dollars and bought a digital scale. As of Sunday, I weigh 11.8 lbs, which is about 11 lbs and 13 oz., and I’m a little over 23 inches long. I am almost exactly 3 times heavier than I was at birth. The boobie milk is no more, but the formula is going down well and I recently got a hike from 150 ml to 190 ml per feeding. Yummm!

I’ve decided to give Mom and Pops a break. I haven’t peed on them in over a month. They are confused by this, as they give me very little credit for being able to control all my gadgets. It’s lulling them to sleep. They are getting a little slow at putting on the diaper because they aren’t afraid I’m going to pee on them. I may need to let fly once in a while just to keep them honest.

There is an appointment with the doctor next Thursday. I haven’t been in nearly 2 months, so we’ll see how things are going. Hopefully, they aren’t going to stick me with anything, but I’m sure they have something they need to get out of my body.

Till next time,

Izaak P. Mitchell, Esq.


Hokies Win Again!

Well, the Hokies won again on Saturday, but they still have me worried about how they are going to do against a good team. I may have to suit up and get on that offensive line if we are going to beat Clemson.

Luckily, I’ve talked the Folks into staying at home to watch the game next weekend. They took me to that Sweet-N-Savory place again to watch the game out on their deck. I don’t know if they realize it or not, but it’s hot, sticky, loud and there is no AC. I think they learned their lesson after I let out a few screams. They took me inside so I could watch the game in the restaurant and stay cool. It also kept away a lot of groping hands. Those people pass me around like I’m football, and I’m afraid one of those baby-loving women are going to fumble.

There’s more football tonight. Let’s go Skins!! Don’t let me down.  The Hokies are 4-0 and the Skins are 2-0. I don’t like to lose, and you don’t want to see me when I’m angry.

Thumbs, Penguins and Floating Down a Lazy River

The folks and I went to Myrtle Beach on Labor Day, and in just a few days there, my eyes were opened to a whole new world. Did you people know you have a thumb? Two thumbs in fact, and I can suck on them when I lose my pacifier. When I found my right thumb I thought it was some sort of strange, paranormal accident. Later in the day, I found the one on my left hand as I was trying to shove my whole fist into my mouth. Jackpot! I can’t believe neither Mom nor Pops told me about them before. It would have saved us all a lot of trouble.

I have to give some props to Mom and Pop. I don’t know where they got it, but they found the softest Penguin in the world and he decided to pal around with me. We pretty much just lay around on the bed. He doesn’t move too much, so I just lay on top of him and go to sleep. It works out pretty well for me.

For some reason, the Folks’ heads will explode if they don’t put me in the water at every opportunity. There was a  pool just below our hotel room and it was decided, without input from me, that we should go hang out there. I have to admit, I was skeptical when Pops was carrying me into the pool and dropping me into Mom’s lap, but floating around in what they call the “Lazy River” was much cooler than I thought. My diaper got a little wet, but that’s not my problem.

Pops pushed us along when the lazy river was too lazy and I got to see all sorts of new stuff as we floated along. Mainly what I noticed is that there’s a lot of old people in Myrtle Beach who shouldn’t be wearing a bikini.

For those who haven’t seen me in a while. My clothes are getting tighter, so I know I’m getting bigger, but the Folks still haven’t shelled out the dough for a digital scale so it’s all guess-work. Maybe this weekend they will shell out some dough and we can find out how much I weigh.

We’re going to watch the Hokie game with the VT alumni association on Saturday, which means more people pawing over me while I’m trying to focus on the game.

I’m sure I’ll have something to say about the game and the offensive Hokie offense, so until then, I’m out.

Izaak P. Mitchell, Esq.

At Least It Wasn’t JMU

The second game ever for me and they tried their best to make me regret putting on my Hokie onesy. A win is a win, but boy did it look like the diaper I dealt to Pops this morning. The defense looked good, but what a pitiful display by the offense. Pops said I should get used to that and to his screaming at the TV every time another run up the middle is called by the offensive braintrust. I’ve never had to see a Hokie loss, so I can’t complain too much yet. 

 It looks like next weekend I’ll be hanging out with the Wilmington Hokie Alumni Association. We’ll see what that bunch of crazies are like.

Me and the Folks just got back from a mini-vacation to Myrtle Beach, so I’ll have something to say about that in the coming days. In the meantime, everyone hope the Hokies can pull it together by the time they have to play a real team.

Izaak P. Mitchell Esq.

Getting suited up and ready for the kick-off