Thumbs, Penguins and Floating Down a Lazy River

The folks and I went to Myrtle Beach on Labor Day, and in just a few days there, my eyes were opened to a whole new world. Did you people know you have a thumb? Two thumbs in fact, and I can suck on them when I lose my pacifier. When I found my right thumb I thought it was some sort of strange, paranormal accident. Later in the day, I found the one on my left hand as I was trying to shove my whole fist into my mouth. Jackpot! I can’t believe neither Mom nor Pops told me about them before. It would have saved us all a lot of trouble.

I have to give some props to Mom and Pop. I don’t know where they got it, but they found the softest Penguin in the world and he decided to pal around with me. We pretty much just lay around on the bed. He doesn’t move too much, so I just lay on top of him and go to sleep. It works out pretty well for me.

For some reason, the Folks’ heads will explode if they don’t put me in the water at every opportunity. There was a  pool just below our hotel room and it was decided, without input from me, that we should go hang out there. I have to admit, I was skeptical when Pops was carrying me into the pool and dropping me into Mom’s lap, but floating around in what they call the “Lazy River” was much cooler than I thought. My diaper got a little wet, but that’s not my problem.

Pops pushed us along when the lazy river was too lazy and I got to see all sorts of new stuff as we floated along. Mainly what I noticed is that there’s a lot of old people in Myrtle Beach who shouldn’t be wearing a bikini.

For those who haven’t seen me in a while. My clothes are getting tighter, so I know I’m getting bigger, but the Folks still haven’t shelled out the dough for a digital scale so it’s all guess-work. Maybe this weekend they will shell out some dough and we can find out how much I weigh.

We’re going to watch the Hokie game with the VT alumni association on Saturday, which means more people pawing over me while I’m trying to focus on the game.

I’m sure I’ll have something to say about the game and the offensive Hokie offense, so until then, I’m out.

Izaak P. Mitchell, Esq.


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