Looks Like I’m A Freak

So the Folks had one of their freak out sessions a few days ago. I’m sitting on the couch, watching 30 Rock and minding my own business, when Mommy starts flipping out. She talks to Pops for a while and he starts Googling. Mommy noticed that one of my pupils is larger than the other–big whoop! Like every other time they have a question or an argument, they took to the computer. Google knows everything. What they found freaked them out even more, so they called my doc. I could have saved them a lot of trouble if they’d just asked. I was fine.

Does It Look Like Something's Wrong With Me

Luckily, I didn’t have to go to one of those stinking Emergency Rooms. The next day we visited my doc. She said I was fine and didn’t even stick a needle in me. I did have to go see another doc; this one knows all there is to know about eyes. Why she decided this was her life’s calling, you’d have to ask her. Anyway, we saw this doc and she did a bunch of tests. They were annoying, but I let the lady get on with her business. 

Of course, nothing was wrong. According to the great god of eyes, I am one of about 20 percent of people who have different sized pupils. My vision is fine. The Folks didn’t drop me on my head. I’m just a natural-born freak.

Now, I wish to talk about something really important. Enough time has passed, so I can now speak on the subject–the Sugar Bowl. What tha…. Really! We really lost that game? We totally shut down whatever they call that one dude: Shoelace or Shoeless or Old One Shoe. We throw the ball all over the field. Our untested kicker actually makes his kicks (mostly). We still lose? They did nothing! We did everything except win.

There was some really horrible and untimely officiating, but Beamer made some bad decisions and someone on that staff has got to learn how to call plays in the red zone. It’s a shame too, because I was so psyched for this game.

It was a happy time early on when we were playing well and ahead.

Of course, in the end. It was a miserable defeat in a major bowl in front a huge crowd. Hokie Tradition.

On to better news. The cats are really starting to take to me. Kendyl rubs up against me quite a bit, but I think all she really wants is food. Lulabelle, on the other hand, is a bit more standoffish. The most she has done is curl up on Pops lap while he’s holding me, but the other day she jumped up in the bed and plopped down right beside me.

Overall, things are going well here. Pops is giving me more freedom during the day now that I can sit up all by myself and play with my toys. There is this thing called the Super Bowl that’s coming up, so I’ll have to see what all the hype is about with that. Otherwise, just eating and rounding into shape.

That’s it for now. Stay tuned for a risque video featuring yours truly.

Izaak P. Mitchell


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